Dear Tiffany, As you know its mummy, i was sitting thinking of the places we went to and then i remembered when we went to Deep Sea World for a day trip out with your nursery teacher Julie, Going along on the treadmill you loved it and i kept looking at what you were smiling at but that was you all over sweetheart even strangers you would smile at you were such a great daughter, the one thing you loved with Deep Sea World was the air bubbles in the tanks, you weren't phased with the sharks or flat fish, it was like you weren't bothered about them, but you were fixed on the little fish with the beautiful Tropical colours on them, yet all the time i was thinking "what if this cracks but i couldn't ruin your day" we went there because you were going into the big room with the older kids, and your 1 2 1 teacher julie was leaving 2 wks later and she wanted to do something with you so we decided to take you there, i know you preffered that than Dynamic Earth!!!! you loved going across the Forth Road Bridge but i was scared, when it came to you i would do anything to make you happy, you were my only child and i am/was so proud to be your mummy, Its wasn't hard looking after you, i was upset that i could not do ANYTHING at all to take the pain from you when you were in it, and if i could i would have taken it in the flicker of an eye.... you touched so many peoples hearts but how could no one love you, they would just look and say "you are so beautful and you'd give a big smile".... I lie at night and think of you constantly, and now mummy is going to be doing some volunteering work at the sick kids, i just hope i can manage to keep my feelings inside when i went up to the hospital i had to walk out the ward after 5mins as i just kept looking into your room, your nurse had decorated it in peach with big Winnie the phoo stickers, and seeing another little child in there, how i wish you were here with me, auntie Donna, Auntie Shona, Auntie Dannielle and who knows even Auntie lorraine might have come to visit you? you would love Auntie Donna's Partner Gordon (remember onetime you were in Intensive care and i brought a friend up :) oh Tif i still laugh at this, Lizzy leaned over (and you were on a ventalator had so many drugs going into your little body to keep you sedated)but all of a sudden as Lizzy was leaning over to kiss you, you opened your Big Blue Eyes had a quick refex in your arm it shot up and knocked the cap off her head haha, then you went right back into your drug induced sleep i still laugh at that to this day and will for the rest of my life (i have been keeping a journal and started it from January 1999 when i found out i was expecting you), i would like to write a little book for the hospital for other parents who are going to be going through what you had to go through in your life, ive wrote all the my memories down as i dont know what i would do if i started to forget things thats why i keep you living on in me by talking about you that mums way of dealing with your passing. You would have cousins who would protect you so much you have dannielle, Shelly, George, James, daryl, Saffron, Stuartie boi, Tejay, Natalie, Andrew, Dean, and Kelsey, your big cousin George has a star on his arm and said he was going to get your name inside it (which is a beautiful thing to do :) ),all your cousins would protect you so much, Little Kelsey looks so much like you (i think so, same amazing curly hair at the ends and the exact same colour, she has big blue eyes also and she would know you were not well and i also know 100% that she would love you and look after you, now with auntie Donna she would love to see you everyday apart from when she is unwell with the flu i wouldnt risk you getting it and i CERTIANLY KNOW SHE WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO CATCH IT AT ALL AND WOULD WANT YOU TO BE KEPT AWAY UNTILL SHE WAS WELL AGAIN, SHE WAS THE 1ST PERSON TO SEE YOU WHEN YOU WERE BORN EVEN B4R ME :( BUT THE DR'S AND NURSES HAD TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY GOT THAT CORD OFF YOUR NECK.... I CANT EVER FORGET THE DAY YOU WERE PUT IN MY ARMS, IT WAS THE HAPPIEST AND MOST WONDERFUL DAY OF MY LIFE, I KNOW EVERY PARENT SAYS THEY HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL KIDS? BUT I CAN SAY FOR WHAT YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH IN 3 1/2YRS TIFFANY YOU WERE DEFINATLY AND ARE THE BEST CHILD A MOTHER COULD EVER WISH FOR. I KNOW WHEN MY TIME ON THIS EARTH HAS COME TO AN END IM GOING TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER & SON AND MY MUM &DAD WAITING FOR ME BUT I CANT WAIT TO HOLD YOUS ALL AGAIN. I MISS YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVER SAY. YOU GAVE ME THE BEST 3YRS &5MTH OF MY LIFE TIFFANY AND I WILL LOVE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER FOREVER. WITH ALL MY LOVE FOREVER. MUMMY.XXXXXXXXXXXXX 13 KISSES FOR EVERY BIRTHDAY, 10 OF WHICH I MISSED :( LOVE AND MISS YOU TIF-TIF.